I came to Thailand on holiday in 1993 and really liked the friendly people, warm weather, and the beautiful beaches. I met some people who ran a language school and in 1995 I came back to Thailand to teach English to children in their school. When I first arrived, I couldn't speak any Thai and I didn't know much about Thai culture. I also didn't like rice, and that's what Thai people eat three times a day! The people I worked with, and my students' parents, were really kind and taught me a lot. After about four months I was able to have conversations in Thai, and I slowly got used to the food. I lost a lot of weight though - the food was so hot and spicy I could only eat a little of it, and I didn't like eating rice on its own. I had to get used to the weather too - it's always hot in Thailand. There are only three seasons, hot, dry and wet. In the hot season it can be 40-45 degrees, day and night, but usually it's about 32-34 degrees. The coolest weather is 25 degrees, usually for just two weeks a year in middle of the dry season.

About six months after I arrived I met Shian Nokdajun, a stonemason who lived next door to my apartment building. His friend Chay and my friend Jo were already seeing each other so we made up a foursome together. At first it was a funny kind of relationship because Shian didn’t speak English and I was still learning Thai, but we knew right away that we wanted to get to know each other better and so we persevered. We've been together ever since - sometimes living in different provinces, and sometimes in different countries. At one point I decided that there was no future for us together, that it was all impossible, and went home to New Zealand on a one way ticket – shipped everything back and started to make a life for myself in NZ. After about two months I realized I’d made a big mistake – my heart just wasn’t in it - and after four months I was back in Thailand! We were married in a civil ceremony in April 1999, and in October 1999 we had a traditional Buddhist marriage blessing ceremony in Shian’s village. My mother and friends flew in from New Zealand and we had a wonderful time together. Then, in March 2000, our son was born. His name is Jetsada, but we call him Jack. His name means "development to the highest level".

Shian used to work full time for a construction company but after Jack was born he stopped work and became a househusband. He looks after Jack and does the housework - laundry, shopping, cooking and cleaning. This is very unusual in Thai society. Almost all husbands/fathers work full time and the wife stays home with the children. Thai men are quite old-fashioned and often think a woman's place is at home! People are always very surprised when I tell them my husband takes care of our son; women are always very impressed that a Thai man can do this! But this arrangement suits us very well - Shian loves playing with Jack all day, and I enjoy my work. I work for an elearning company which teaches English through technology and multimedia as well as through traditional classroom teaching.

Jack is very much a product of his two backgrounds. When he eats with me, he has cornflakes, or toast and Vegemite, or macaroni cheese. When he eats with Shian, he has rice porridge, or noodles, or papaya salad. I talk to him, and read to him, in English and Shian talks and reads in Thai. Sometimes Jack brings a Thai book to me to read, and I give it to Shian to read instead - I think he hasn't understood yet that there are two languages in our house.

In October 2001 the company I work for asked me to go to Shanghai and open the China offices of the company. Shian and Jack came later. We like the experience but also miss our friends, families and food from home.

I think the biggest thing I have learned from my bicultural relationship is that anything is possible if you really want it to happen. I gave up once and later realized I wanted it so bad that I just had to work on it – so I put the time and effort into it and was amazed to find that it could work after all. It’s corny but true – "where there’s a will, there’s a way!"